Coming Out While Iranian: My Tastemade Cooking Show Debut

Can you imagine preparing, on camera, one of the most beloved and complexly nuanced/symbolic dishes of your country of origin—while sharing intimate and vulnerable details of not only your coming-out story, but of the subsequent challenges that have come with navigating the world of dating, family, and community as your intersectional queer self?

I was invited by Tastemade to take on this very unique challenge when I was asked to prepare Ghormeh Sabzi, one of the most iconic dishes of Iran (and dare I say the Persian Empire) while I shared stories about my journey as a queer, Iranian, Muslim-raised immigrant womxn.

This all came about when the Director of Original Series at Tastemade read the piece I wrote about coming out to my parents in the 90’s while cooking Ghormeh Sabzi (out of my tiny NYC kitchen) for a couple of queer Iranian friends who were visiting me from San Francisco. See full story here.

He invited me to come to Tastemade headquarters and do a full episode cooking show for a new series called Cooking With Pride, where I would share my stories with host Ingrid Nilson—while simultaneously showing her how to prepare Ghormeh Sabzi.

No. Big. Deal (!!!)

Ghormeh Sabzi is a very traditional Persian/Iranian dish that involves a lot of sophisticated and layered flavors from herbs such as fenugreek, parsley + cilantro; sour + earthy notes from fresh + dried limes (Limoo Amani) and spices like turmeric that meld together in a slow-cooked, savory and verdant stew that is served with a steaming plate of basmati rice.

For me, there was something poignantly symbolic about preparing this layered, complexly flavored, traditional dish on-air while discussing in detail some of the very complex, layered and vulnerable experiences I have had navigating the world as a queer, Iranian-American non-binary immigrant “outlaw” of sorts who came of age in the late 80’s/early 90’s within a tiny, Arizona-based Muslim community that was themselves considered “outlaws” by the larger Islamic communities and countries of the world.

During this cooking show, I share everything from my coming out story-to the awkward trauma around my first kiss—to where my desire has shifted to in terms of the gender(s) and orientation(s) I now date versus who I was dating in the early 90’s. All while preparing a dish that is a national treasure.

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It has been a few weeks since the Tastemade “Cooking With Pride” episode I am on has aired. I have been surprised by the way the Iranian communities around the world have responded to this cooking show.

I have not received any negative or derogatory comments about the fact that I am a very out queer Iranian person who is not shying away from bringing visibility to folx like myself on shows like Tastemade. To me, this is HUGE and a sign that perhaps the collective conscience of the global Iranian communities are much more aware and accepting of the existence of Iranian LGBTQI within their local communities.

What I *have* been surprised by is the number of Iranians who have VERY PASSIONATELY engaged with the brief video clip posted on Tastemade’s Instagram page to proclaim that my Ghormeh Sabzi is not up to their standards and expectations (based on the brief clip showing how the dish was plated and presented on the show).

At first, I felt like I needed to explain to each Iranian viewer who commented that this is “TV” and that I didn’t literally whip up a complex dish that takes hours to cook in 21 minute…and that the finished dish they were criticizing so fervently was prepared by in-house chef/food stylists and shot for TV. Frankly, I thought the food stylist who prepared the pot of ghormeh sabzi for the camera did a fantastic job, considering it was her first time cooking a dish she had never seen or tasted before.

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Once I got over the initial impulse to defend myself and the cooking show, I realized that the comments seem to come from a deep sense of pride and respect for the legacy of the Persian/Iranian culture and history. I was actually deeply moved by how strongly some Iranians felt compelled to police and criticize the way the Ghormeh Sabzi dish looked on air.

I know that for many Iranian families (including mine) who have had to flee their motherland for political and religious reasons, one of the only things they can hold onto and continue to nurture and pass on to the next generation(s) is the magnificent and unique Persian/Iranian culinary tradition.

For a scattered population of people, keeping the recipes and oral tradition of the motherland intact is equivalent to keeping the culture alive and well, despite wars, revolutions, displacement and reinventing yourself in a foreign land with foreign flavors.

I understand and have been deeply touched by all the Iranians (both living in Iran as well as the diaspora) who wanted to have their voices heard and who wanted to protect and honor the spirit of their motherland and history by commenting on the cooking video clip on Tastemade.

This only inspires me to want to create more cooking and culture videos where I can continue to explore and honor the stories, food and culture of a variety of intersectional people and communities around the world. Let us celebrate and keep alive the food, stories and heritage of our ancestors while we simultaneously showcase those individuals and movements today that are pushing boundaries and creating new language, culture and social movements.

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